Boyfriend tends to get violent
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
my boyfriend tends to get violent in a physical way when we argue and he doesnt get what he wants.he doesnt always do it but it happens about half the time.he doesnt always hurt me but it is the fact that he grabs and pushs me and pulls me.even at school if we argue he like to push and pull me around like a doll. i want it to stop but i dont know how. i care for him alot but i dont deserve to be treated like that.i am trying to find a way to talk to him about it without him getting really mad and i want to say it so he understands where im coming from.i just dont know how.please help if you can!!!
This a habit with him which he probably learned from relatives at an early age. You are going to have a tought time getting him to stop. You should not put up with it or it will increase over time.
Explain to him that you will not tolerate any physical abuse for any reason. If he cares about you he will be willing to work on the problem. One thing he could do is to seek some counseling to get a professional opinion on what his problem is.
Next, you need to refuse to accept the abuse. If he pushes you tell him to stop and cool down. Walk away from him if he starts doing it again and if he pulls you back put up a fight (nothing violent).
I am honestly unoptimistic that you can change him unless you convince him that it is a bad habit and could ruin all his relationships for the rest of his life. He has to be convinced that he has a problem before he will start working on it.
Best of luck,
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com