Forgive and forget
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I have reviewed the site..and I think my particular situation is unique. Ok, I am 15 (a sophomore), and am dating a senior. The only catch is- we live 12 hrs apart (me in NC, him in western NY where all my family lives) This past summer, we met again like we do every vist, but at the end of the summer, he kissed me, and we have been dating ever since (coming up in a couple days will be seven months.) I saw him again during Christmas break and we went snowboarding, and were together 24-7. We didnt have sex. I came home, and a week later talked to 'Danielle' a 'friend' of his who told me she had been dating him for a month as well, and had just broken up w/ him b/c of 'complications' in their relationship. I asked him about it, and we got into a weekend long talk about what had happened. They had oral sex three times, but he didnt love her, and regrets everything that happened. I yelled at him, my friends yelled at him, but I couldnt make myself break up with him- so we are still together. Now we cant get through a single conversation without it coming up, and he tells me he is depressed (he wont go out w/ his friends anymore, and says he rarely has fun b/c what he did is constantly on his mind), and randomly cries when we talk. He tells me he doesnt deserve me and that he loves me so much, and how all he wants is for me to trust him again- and that he will spend the rest of his life working on that if he needs to. He has sworn up and down that he will never ever do it again and that he understands that it will take time for things to get back to 'normal'. Even though its been bad news for the past month, he has been painfully honest and seems sorry- did I make the right decision by giving him a second chance? What should I say to him to help us both move on and not think about it ALL THE TIME? Is he sayin all this just because Danielle broke up w/ him and he doesnt have any more options? What does all this mean!!
Once you have hit a bump in the love road, there will be some temporary jostling around and sometimes a permanent break in the relationship. If you want to put this into the past, simply tell him you forgive him and trust that he will never do it again. Then refuse to discuss it anymore. He will be grateful and you two will have to continue on as if nothing happened.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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Take Time to Heal