He lies too much

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My wife and I have been seperated for almost two months. She has had other boyfriends since and I have not. The break up all started after I got back from Iraq, fighting in Operation Iraqi Freedom,over a stupid fight of her not letting me go out with my friends. Basically I put my friends first. The whole time I was in country I would call her and tell her how things have changed and war opened my eyes to what was important. A month after I got back I went back to my old ways.
I had a small, ok big problem with lying. I never cheated on her but the lies destroyed her. Stupid things like what I was spending money on, where I was going, and still smoking. I agree now that they were stupid. She came back to me and gave me another chance at life. Well needless to say I screwed up again. Now she said that she wont put herself out there to be hurt again. I just dont know what to do. I miss everthing about her not to mention we have a son together who was born one week before I was deployed for the war. I see her everyday and it kills me that she is not comming home with me that day. I really dont know what to do. She wants me to be her friend and she says that if it was meant to be then it will be. I have broken all the bonds of trust between us and I dont know how to get it all back. I know it will be a long journey but I cant wait that long. I am in a lot of pain.

How do I get her back and build the trust back asap? How do I turn my life around and stop lying? How do we become a family again and be happy?

Thank You,
Destroyed In AZ

RomanceClass.com Advice
It's a hard thing to do, but here is one way to stop lying. Before you say anything, stop and ask yourself is it the truth. Also, when you are just thinking, do the same thing. You are probably lying in your thoughts if you lie so much when you speak.

With her you could even start of each significant sentence with something that tells her (and you) that you are telling the truth, such as "Honestly..." or "truly." Sounds unnatural, but you can explain to her why you are doing it. Old habits are hard to break, so you have your work cut out for you.

Good luck,

Happy holidays!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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