Why won't she answer?Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Male
My girlfriend and I have nbeen dating for 4 yr. About a month ago I sent her some flowers and told her I loved her. She called me that night and said we need to talk. I went to her house were she was crying ( by the way we had not had a major argument in 4 yr)I asked what was the matter and she said she needed time. I said OK . we cried and hugged and kissed before I left I told her I loved her and she said she loved me. About a week later she called me and assked if I could stop over her house. Idid and spent the night with her holding her all night. I told her I wanted things to work out. In the morning she had to go to work but told me we needed to talk. I called her several times asking when we could talk . she responded late at night when it was evident we could not get together. I asked her to call me so we could talk...she never did. I ran into about 1 week later and tried to talk ...she said not now but she would call me .... NO CALL.Several times since then I have run into her and nasked if we could talk... each time her demeanor got more aggitated and she said she would call me....NO CALL.
She has never told me she doesn't love me, even when I ask her directly. Friends of ours have told me there is nobody else. Yhey say she goes out with her girlfriends, sisters or other relatives. When asked why we broke up she says we had issues( I have no idea what these issues are. Its bee about 5 days now with no contact... I'm not sure whats going on. Should I wait ? How long? or is it over.
I relly loved this girl but recently I've been thinking that what ever the "issues" are she shuld have discussed them with me. I feel like she hopes I will just lose interestif she avoids me. I don't want to move on right now because I 'm thinking she is having a hard time with something and that eventually we will get back together. On the other hand is it possible she still has strong feelings for me and doesn't know how to tell me she misses patying with her friends and family ( I don't want to go to the bar ALL THE TIME) and her silent treatment is just a way of keeping me on the back burner till she decides what she wants to do. I am 54 she is 44. my last child will be going to college next year, she has a daughter in 10th grade.
By the way I get along famously with her family
This is a baffling situation and I commiserate with you.
You have tried everything possible to get her to talk and she hasn't done so yet. The only idea I have is to write her a letter and express your feelings ass you did above. Perhaps she will feel more comfortable answering in writing. Or perhaps the letter will have enough impact to get a response out of her.
Wish you the best,
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!
All Advice in the category - Breakup Issues
Browse our Answer Database- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response
Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.