Betrayal still hurts

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
How can I talk about my hurt and anger and doubt if he sees the issue solved and doesnt wana hear it? It gets to the point where he does circles aroung the things that are killin me inside and the talk ends with :shut the fuck up" im sorry wat do u want me to do?? How can I overcome bertayal the past still hurts?? help! Advice
You are in a frustrating situation. Open communication is one of the most important elements of a strong loving relationship. Your man may be making one of the mistakes that some men make. He is trying to solve the problem when what you want is to discuss it. He doesn't understand that it can help hurt go away simply by talking about something.

Explain to him that you are not looking for a solution to the problem itself, but want to continue discussing it as a form of therapy. If you can present your hurt to him in a non-threatening way, perhaps he will open up. If not, I'd recommend a family therapist.

Meanwhile, here are some tips about fighting/arguments from our website:

Good luck,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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