In Love with a Guy at Work

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
ive totally fallen in love with a guy at work big time
i cant get him outta my head and i thought that at one point he felt the same, but then he started seeing one of my friends. i was so hurt that my friend started going out with him because she knew exactly how i felt and she still went ahead with it.

i tried to put him to the back of my mind but there will be small incidents where he will tell me how nice i look make small comments or say we should meet up sometime and it kinda made me feel special. i have really strong feelings for this guy but i just feel that im not eveer going to be given a chance with him. hes on my mind 24/7......what do i do? Advice
I have to say, your "friend" broke one of THE cardinal rules of friendship, and that is not to just start dating a guy your friend is interested in. She should have talked with you about it first and found a solution. Guys come and go, but friendships last through it all - that is unless you're willing to betray your friend to get the guy of the moment. I wouldn't consider that much of a friend at all.

In any case, it sounds like he's a fun, flirtatious guy and enjoys being nice to girls. I would flirt right back, and be friends with him. Chat with him, have drinks together, be around. If things don't work out between him and your "friend", he'll have you in his mind as a fun, friendly person and might move things even more closely. I wouldn't actively drive a wedge between the two of them - he'll think of you as the one who broke up his relationship and that wouldn't be a good thing. But just be there, and be available. And have fun!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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