Asking a Girl to the Prom

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Hey, ive been pretty good friends with this girl. I've known her for about 3 years now. We were like bestfriends last year. But I started to like her more then a friend, it happens sometimes! Well she doesn't like me, just as a friend. Which is ok I guess with me, I really do like her a lot, so yeah it does kind of hurt knowing that she doesn't like me the way I would like her too. You know that feeling that you get when you around them, the butterflies in your stomach, the weak knees. I get those everytime!

We have gotten into a few fights over the whole thing with me liking her more then a friend. It has had some negative effects on our friendship, it does still today. We arent nearly as close as we use to be. But im pretty sure I can go to her for anything if I need help.

OK, well prom is coming up! May 3rd is our prom. Theres still like 4 months before it comes. Time goes fast though! I really really want to go with her! It would mean everything if I went with her! But, when is the best time to ask her to go? Is it too early to ask her? I don't want to wait too long incase someone else asks her to go and she accepts. I want to make it special! I mean it wouldnt be good if I just said "will you go to the prom with me?" ya know? I need it to be special. I DID read your information on "how to ask someone to the prom" Do you have any more tips though? I was thinking about asking her on Valentines Day. I was going to deliver her some flowers or have someone deliver them and ask her then, but im afraid it might be too late. She has her birthday Saturday. I got her a gift, and I also bought her flowers for her b-day. I was thinking maybe I could ask her then when I give her the flowers? Or is it too soon to ask? Please give me some good advice! Thanks! Advice
I would keep it separate from her birthday or Valentine's Day so it's its own special thing. I would probably get her a pretty bouquet of flowers and write the 'will you go to the prom with me?' on the card in the bouquet. I'd do it sometime between now and Valentine's Day so if another guy was planning on doing it then, you get your request in first.

You might also want to focus in the next few weeks about showing how great a friend you are without pressuring her. You want to emphasize in her mind that you're a fun person to be with, not one that will cause her stress. She wants to have fun at the prom, remember, and if she thinks you're likely to turn it into a situation where you're pressuring her to be romantic, she might be worried about accepting. So show her that you can be just a fun person without any pressures.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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