Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have looked through the site and couldn't find anything specific to my question. I'm sorry if I over looked it.
I'm getting mixed signals from a guy I really like. We met on a dating site and have a lot in common. He messages me first all the time, we've hung out a few times (he and I both have initiated). We fight over who gets to pay :) It feels pretty equal on the surface.
Trouble is, sometimes I feel like just a friend. And, he still logs on to the dating site. I have never had a boyfriend, so I have to say I'm very inexperienced. He says that we're dating. Does that mean he doesn't want things to be serious? And, if he's still checking a dating site, does that mean he's looking to move on, or is it just a way of keeping things open?
Also, when we first started talking, I couldn't shut him up. Now, he still talks, but not as much. In his defense, he just started a new job. I'm really bad at bringing things up because I'm terribly insecure. He's very, very smart and passionate. All these thoughts run through my head, i.e what if he thinks thats stupid? he doesn't care about that.. and etc.
I don't want to let my insecurities get in the way of my ability to relax and open up. But, I don't know whats justified and what is just in my head. I don't want to move too quickly, but is there a chance for this to be exclusive in the future? I really like him and I don't want to mess this up. Should I just ask him where this is going, or do I need to give it time?
Yes, you are letting your insecurities get in the way of what sounds like a good relationship. Allow yourself to open up and not worry so much about how he is reacting. After all, he is dating you and likes you. Only time will tell whether this will become exclusive. I wouldn't recommend that you put him on the spot about the relationship which seems good.
I wouldn't worry that he is still checking the dating site, that is rather normal behaviour at this point in time.
You sound quite intelligent yourself, and he is probably attracted to that. Just be yourself and I think things will go well for you.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com