I Broke Up Instead of Fixing Things
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I got a problem again....I broke up with my Gf because she's to smooth,what i ment is that she never tells that she like me or thing sweet to me...she never text me or tell me to call her,,im broken hearted..!!!actually until now i still love her like before..!Im so confused because I wana be back with her,,i cant stop thinking about her..!!I wana ask her to be back with me but if were back im scared she will be the same,,
When i ask her to brake she was like, she doesnt care that i wana break with her..but after i brake with her,her friend told me that she realy care about me but she cant tell that she realy like me....!!!!
now my question is,,is it okay if i ask her back??and if she say yes will she will be the like before...??? PLZ answer
Here's the issue. You had a girlfriend. You wanted to get more attention from her. Every boy and girl has a different level of attention needs. Some of us want more attention, some of us don't want that much and feel smothered if we get it. So there is *always* a compromise being made between two people, between what they want and what they get. Your solution to this problem was to dump the girl?? Why didn't you just TELL her that you felt neglected and wanted more attention from her?
Relationships are about two people communicating their needs and discussing their issues. If your solution is just to run away because things aren't perfect, then of course they're never going to get better. And if you just leap into the relationship again, of course they're going to be the same.
Don't just ask her back. Sit down and talk with her. I have a TON of advice on the site about this issue including an ebook entirely on the subject of Getting your Ex Back. Read through it all and then explain to her why you were sad before. Ask her if things could be worked on between you two so she was more demonstrative, and so you were more understanding of the ways she WAS showing her love.
Love should never be about someone repeatedly assuring you "yes I still love you". You shouldn't require text messages every 15 minutes saying "Hey there I'm still your girlfriend". So you and she need to compromise on what is reasonable!
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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User Submitted Response from a 13-15 year old Female