I give her time will she get that NY thing out of her?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I was in a relationship with this girl for about 1 1/2 - 2 years,she is 19 I'm 28, we were the closest couple,did everthing together, I got injured in a car accident almost at the begining of the relationship so I wasn't able to work to the entire relationship (working on disability), but she was there throught everything. I got depressed without realizing it and I didn't want to go out and want her to keep my company, I told her to go out with her friends but at the same time I wanted her with me. We tried to hide our relationship and that was a burden which stopped up from showing affection in public. If we argue we will be back together no more that 20min, when we were not together we were on the phone. She went to NY for 5 wks, in the last 2 weeks she broke up with me and of course I begged and pleaded but she said no.
She came back Sunday the 11th of July and came to my house and we hugged very tight, and kissed on the lips. We went by the bedroom door and hugged and talked, when she was leaving I tried to kiss her on the lips and she started to then pulled away and said that we are not together anymore. I could hold back, silent tears started and she wiped them and said don't cry. She come by and stay in my room we talked eat food in there, I took her to register for college, we've been kinda hanging out. She don't want me to hold her hand she saids that she don't want to get too close, I asked her if she loved me and she shook her head no then said that she doesn't know. I asked her if she thinks that we will get back together and she said that she doesn't know that maybe in time, she don't want to go back in the realation the way I was then, and she don't believe that I changed so quickly.
She seem to get jealous when I talk about other girl that are attracted to me.
All she talks about is NY and how anything she wants her cousin gives her and her friend want to take her everywhere and if she don't want to go they don't, How much people shope for her and took her to expensive resturants. She came back with a new phone on a family plan and said that only her cousin and their best friend has the # then later told me that 2 other guys have it but I don't. She said that she broke up with me because I called 2 much B.S. Since she came back the guy that is on the family plan calls every min of every day and then she calls, she told me that they are just friends, and that she doesn't have any feeling for him 'yet'.
I think that all the catering and spoiling her went to her head. Now she have a constant connection to NY with the phone. We R in FL.
I would like to know if I give her time will she get that NY thing out of her? Will she come back to me?
What can I do?
Her head's in the clouds right now. You're right that NY spoiled her, and that she's wrapped up in that world for now. Yes, I believe that she will slowly come out of it and back to the real world, but it might take some time.
You need to spend this time figuring out exactly what broke the two of you up, and fix that problem before you think of getting back together with her. And you've got to convince her of the change or she'll never believe that you're a whole new person.
She's also at a point in her life where she's going to want to find out who she is. She'll want to date a lot of different guys and experience life before she settles down. You've already been through this process and you're set, but she still needs to go through it. So she may not come back to you for that reason. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the common pathway in life.
I wish you the best.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com