a few months ago I asked him if he was doing drugs
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. We have always lived together. I knew something was different since last summer but couldn't figure out what it was. a few months ago I asked him if he was doing drugs. He said yes. He work but only makes enough to support his habit, leaving me to support him and his son. I stopped paying his child support and other bills, but i still pay rent, utilities, food and entertainment. He does use as often but I don;t understand how he can continue to use know how much it hurts me. the problem is I never did drug so I can not relate to what he is going through and what state of mind he is in. My mind says to leave but my heart says to stay. How do I know if and how to get him to stop. We are getting married next year. Please help.
People who use drugs are no longer in control of what they do. They know how it hurts those around them, but they can't deny the cravings that they feel. And they continue to use. What your boyfriend needs is professional help, which you can't give him. He needs to admit there's a problem and he needs to take the steps to overcome his addiction.
I would recommend that you not marry him until he cleans up. Otherwise he will just be a drain on you and will potentially put your credit and bank balances at risk. As it is, he's not fulfilling his obligations toward you and his child. Addictions don't go away on their own. They only increase. So either he's going to have to work more hours or get a second job, or he's going to be tapping into your money, or selling your stuff, or getting into illegal acts in order to support his growing addiction.
This is not something that can wait. You must help him realize he needs professional help, and he won't do this while you're supporting him. You need to stand firm if you're going to get back the guy that you fell in love with.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com