He always caves and puts other people's needs above his own.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I love my boyfriend very much but the problem is that he doesn't seem to love himself as much as he should. He always caves and puts other people's needs above his own. This not only saddens me, but is also a big turnoff. I have a hard time respecting someone if they don't respect themselfs.
Is there anything I can do to help him realize that he is important? Should I say anything?
So many times we get questions about people being too controlling and too selfish. This question just shows that the flip side of the coin is equally as frustrating.
The only way your boyfriend will gain a sense of self is if he learns his value in the world and believes it. You repeatedly telling him how valuable he is will definitely help. The more he hears it, the more likely it will sink in. Counselling would also help him.
When you see him putting others before himself and it's harmful to him, point it out and show how his taking care of his own needs can and should be done. If you can show him instances where he's hurting himself, then he will slowly catch on.
I wish you the best!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com