Handling a Strong Jealousy
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've been with M for a year now, and for some reason every time i see him with any girl i flip out and get jealous, then i get very angry. Last year i had a friend that always used to call him at home and she started liking him, he didnt show interest in her, but i got very jealous, not of her though, she dosent have anything I want, then M has other girl-friends, one of which he plans on hanging out with this week, and now i am extremely jealous,also because im in Italy for 2 weeks, so i can't see him. I am so jealous, and it's not of the girls he hangs out with or that like him, all they do is make me feel angry. So what am I jealous of? And how can i get rid of such a strong jealousy?
First, and I'm not kidding, it's the most important step that you've already taken, knowing that you want to take care of this issue. Tons and tons of relationships that are really good get destroyed because one person is very jealous. The other person finally just gets sick of it and leaves, even though they were otherwise perfect for each other. So this is something that can be *really* destructive, and if you can get a handle on it, it could literally save your relationship.
I have lots of advice on jealousy on line -
In essence it comes down to you feeling good about yourself, and trusting that your boyfriend isn't going to run off as soon as he has a chance. He chose *you*, he cares for you, you are worthy of that love and affection. You need to learn to feel good about yourself, that he's not stuck with you and is itching for his chance for freedom. You need to accept that he sees the value in you, just as you see the value in him, and that nobody else will drag him away from that.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com