We fight all the time!

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I love my boyfriend with all my heart, and he makes me so happy when things are going well..but when we fight its nasty. it's so hard to get through fights because we both get so emotional and upset about things. we do get through them eventually, but when i think back to all the mean things we said to eachother i get upset. what do i do?

RomanceClass.com Advice
You should force him to talk with you about it. Tell him calmly that you will not tolerate his yelling at you, you don't deserve it. Tell him that when he starts being abusive toward you, you will walk out and not return for an hour. Then you will be back to talk about the topic in a calm, adult manner. Tell this to him up front when you're not arguing, and then when you do argue, stick with it. Tell him, "I warned you that I would walk out for an hour if you started to talk to me like this. I will be back in an hour." and leave. By telling him when you'll return, you're letting him know that you're not walking out on the relationship.

What might also help is to figure out why you're fighting so much. Why are you fighting over petty little things, is it a control issue? Is it frustration of a bad day that spills into bickering? You need to get to the root problem if you want to stop fighting all the time.

I wish you the best!


-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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