Talking to someone I like

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Im a high schooler and I have an amazing crush on this girl. She is one year younger than I am but her and I are getting to know each other very well. We talk all the time online and we talk to eachother occasionally at school.I have one of her friends in one of my classes and she says that this girl really likes me and that I wouldnt be wasting my time with her. I know that she likes me but she doesnt really show it. I think it is because shes a little shy and we're kind of new to eachother.

Anyways, Im ready to aproach her about how i feel about her (she knows i like her) and im not sure how to to do it. Do you think you could give me some advice? It would be much needed. Advice
First off, I really really strongly recommend you NOT use friends to pass your feelings back and forth!! This makes a relationship VERY uncomfortable in situations because now you're relying on someone else to relay your innermost thoughts and emotions, and also expecting the other person to just dump their heart and soul into some third person's hands!! I would stay back from that technique immediately. You need to talk to HER if you want this relationship to work.

I have a whole page on how to ask someone out -

but in essence you want to first work on being FRIENDS. Don't leap into the pressure of asking out. If you do, it's likely the relationship will fail because you never built up the friendship first. So find ways to talk to her just about normal things - movies, TV shows, classes, friends, family, pets, you name it. Find out what her hobbies are. Show an interest in them. Share your hobbies with her. Do things with her as a friend. The more and more close you two get, the more you'll build that bond. And then when it IS right to go to that movie as a "date" and not as friends, you will already have such a solid base that your relationship will be really great.

Good luck!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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