Did I do the right thing?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Did I do the right thing?
My husband and I have been married almost two years. He has been in a new job for almost a year now. When he first started this job, he became close friends with one of his co-workers (female). Just recently, that same co-worker found out that her husband cheated on her with another woman. She confided in my husband...almost too much. She would call every day, sometimes two or three times. I know they have a strong friendship, but it kind of got weird for me. Her situation was put before our own marriage. I have told my husband how I felt about the situation, but I know he thinks I'm just jealous. She is my friend too, but it seems as if she didn't want to discuss the situation with me, only him. So recently, I sent her an email telling her how I felt about the whole situation. I feel like she had a right to know how it affected me. Was that wrong? I mean, I feel better because I got it off of my chest, but I don't know if it was the right thing to do.
RomanceClass.com Advice
You did the right thing by being honest with her and not holding it inside. She's not being out of line, exactly, by confiding this all to your husband... she's looking for a guy's opinion on what her husband did. Yes, I can see how it could be viewed as threatening to you but I wouldn't worry about it. Trust your husband to do the right thing. This trauma in her life will be temporary, a few months, and then she'll be back to normal and not making such demands on your husband. You can and should speak up when you feel uncomfortable with it and you can make it clear to him that it shouldn't interrupt your life, she shouldn't be calling during dinner, for example. By establishing boundaries that you are comfortable with, you will be able to feel better about the situation.
Good luck!
-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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