Can I, should I be friends with my ex?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I saw one of my ex's today,(that i haven't talked to in years) and he has a baby. He used to be very controlling, mean, abusive (verbally and mentally), and basically a complete psychopath. He's going through a divorce right now, and his wife sounds horrible. He sounds like he needs a friend, and acted like he wanted to be friends with me again, but i dont know if i should or not. I forgive him for everything that happened many years ago, but I dont know if i could be friends with him. what should i do? Advice
People don't change unless a meteor comes and hits them on the head. If he was controlling and mean before, there's no reason to think that he has changed. If you are willing to deal with that all over again, then there's no reason why you can't be friends. Just analyze what you're feeling first, to make sure you're not looking to get back with him again. He sounds like he does need a friend right now. But do you want to get back with a psycho? It might be better to let him find his own friends and leave you with a happy life.

Good luck!

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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