I think that he really crossed the line on this one.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend is in the music business. He has a studio set up in his home. Currently he is working on a project with a girl from Florida.
He told me that she was coming into town at which time I asked if he purchased her ticket to which he responded no. I later found out that he did in fact purchase the ticket. I asked at that time about her accomodations. He told me that her manager and himself would be sharing the cost of a hotel for her.
Not only did he pay for her tickets, pick her up from the airport, he actually let her stay with him at his one bedroom apartment for (5) days.
She has been up here on 2 other occasions and I have yet to met this woman.
I think that he really crossed the line on this one. I am totally hurt and disrespected. I am ready to throw our relationship of 6 years away because of it.
Am I wrong?
I understand your hurt and anger over this. I don't think that it's quite enough to throw away the relationship because of it, but I see how it's damaged it and there's a lot of healing that needs to happen. Does he understand why this upsets you so much? If not, then I strongly suggest counselling to open up the communication lines that have shut down. He needs an objective person to tell him how his lying is breaking you apart.
I take the lying to be the worst offense. You are supposed to be able to trust him implicitly and completely. He broke that. I don't suspect that anything is going on between him and her, she's too far away to maintain any kind of relationship on the sly. But that he would lie to you about the details is inexcusable. What does he say when you confront him about it? That will tell you a lot about what's going on in his head. He might just want you to feel more comfortable and is lying to keep you happy. That's different than lying to you because he thinks it's none of your business and therefore it gives him the right to be dishonest.
There's no clear or good answer to this. I recommend that you get a professional to get you two back on track.
My thoughts are with you.
-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com