My ex-boyfriend and my best friend are getting together!

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I was dating my ex boyfriend for about 3 months. He then broke up with me 2 days after my birthday, with a note. He had previously had the note 4 days before that, but he was still flirting with me. He had once tried to give me the note, but then took it back. I already knew what it said. When he did break up with me, what he was expecting was that he and I could still be each other's "favorites", but just that we wouldn't be going out. I wasn't talking to him for 3 days after that, and then he finnally called me and said sorry, but he just told me sorry so I would talk to him again. I didnt' know what to do, but then he and I started being friends again, but every once in a while, he would make some smart aleck comments to me, and I just ignored him. Then he started telling my best friend that I was being mean. He has been writing my best friend notes, and drawing stuff for her, and he has been calling her. The last time, and the only time, he has written me a note was when he broke up with me. The last time he called me, was 3 days after we broke up. He wants me to call him and write him notes, but the when I do call him, he either says, "oh my moms home, I have to go" and then hangs up, or his mom wont let me talk to him. His mom hates me, because my ex blames everything on me when his mom gets mad at him for something that has to do with me. She thinks its my fault that he kissed me and that I went out with him, because thats what he told her so that he wouldn't get in trouble. Now, he looks to my best friend, and he flirts with her a lot, seldomly talking to me, and my friend is starting to like him back. Im so confused, and I dont know what to do. I am in the process of writing him a note that tells him everything. From begging to end, such as what I felt, what I had been doing (what I said to my friends about him) and I told him how much I still care about him. What if he doesn't respond back? Im giving him the note on the last day of school, but Im scared because I dont know how he will act! How should I resolve this? WHAT SHOULD I DO??
--Unloved and Left Out Advice
You're in a tough situation, and many others have gone through the same thing and come through the other side. It sounds to me like this boy of yours has moved on and it's best if you can as well. I don't like it that your best friend has fallen for him, I'm sure it makes you jealous and upset. Can you talk with her about it? Tell her to put your friendship before her new love for your ex? Can you tolerate them together for her happiness?

Over the summertime, see if you can make a new relationship with a new boy. That will give your mind a focus on something other than your ex- and you'll feel a lot better.

Good luck!

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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