My Younger Girlfriend is Unsure
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I'm 18. My 15 year old girlfriend and I have been dating for three months now. I know that that isn't long to fall in love with someone, and that we are so young, but I can't help the way I feel about her. Last night she told me that the relationship will end and I don't know why it has to. She told me that she loves me, but can never see herself in love with me. I'm willing to so whatever it takes, whether that means time or whatever until she feels the same way I do. She's told me things before such as she hopes we're together in the future and everything, too which puzzles me. I'm ready to graduate high school and begin college next fall in my hometown, while she will still be attending our high school. She says that she doesn't know if she can handle all of the changes or not, but she's willing to try. I just don't understand how some of the things she says contradict one another. I'm lost and I don't want to lose her. I love her with all my heart, and if the opportunity exists someday, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. Please help me and tell me what to do.
It drives me crazy when people say meaningless things like "I love you but I'm not IN love with you". That is meaningless. They need to tell you WHAT they mean. Do they mean that they feel close when they're with you, but don't imagine they'll be with you long term? Does it mean they have fun partying with you but can't imagine marrying you, because you're not husband material? Communication is THE most important thing in any relationship and people who fall back on meaningless cliche statements are just asking for trouble. It is her responsibility to explain in real, meaningful ways what the issue is so you can work on it. If she's going to make it nearly impossible for you guys to resolve problems, how can she expect *any* relationship to work?
I would sit down with her and really get to talking about what exactly bothers her. That's the only way to find a solution.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com