What is happening to our relationship?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend wants to be herself/alone
Im a 21 year old male that is deeply in love with a girl.
But as everybody we have problems.
The problem is that she just recently got out of a 2 year relationship, but that isnt actually the problem.
The problem is that im a very romatic person and I like to show my feelings and yes i say the tree words, but only when I know them to be true, and she has said them to me to.
But when it comes to things like this she is not as outgoing as I, and I can sometimes feel that Im the only one showing my feelings. Its like im the woman of the realtionship.
But one thing that is going through and through my mind is that my girlfriend just recently got a job that she loves.
And the other day (Wensday - When she usually gets a strange mood) She promised me that she would call me after work, but she didnt. I wrote her a couple og msg's on the cell phone and called her a couple of times, but no reply.
But then later on the nite she wrote to me that she was drinkin and getting drunk. And later on she wrote me that she was going to a dance bar with some co-workers (male). And I started of course getting worried, and a bit jealous.
And later on in the morning she finally called when she got home from the city.
And now she wants some days, where she wants to be herself/alone, and I dont know what to do or what to say to her. I love her so terribly much that its hurts, and I dont know what it means when she didnt call me that day, or why she wants to be alone. And im getting more and more devestated.
First, I commend you for being an open romantic. So many women complain that their guys don't show affection, it's really nice to see that you're one of the rare exceptions!
Every relationship has its ups and downs, and this looks like one of those down times. If you want to get through it, then you'll need a lot of patience and you both will need to communicate more openly about what the problems are and what each of you are expecting from the other. The more you talk about things, the more likely you will be able to sail through this and be stronger on the other side.
Her new job is a serious change for her, and one that she will need to get accustomed to before she settles back into her old groove with you. Give her some time and space to get adjusted to her new lifestyle, but be there for her when she wants you around. I understand that's a tall order, but it'll give you the best chances to weather this storm.
I wish you the best!
-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com