Once more, with feeling
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I really need advice:
I posted once and never received a reply.
OK here it goes. I have known this guy now for about 6 months and at first I was not attracted to him at all. He is very shy. The last three months I we have became friends, more than before. I am starting to have feelings and I really have no idea what to do. I know that I look foward to hearing from him and I talk to him online sometimes until 3 or 4 in the morning. But then when I see him now I am starting to feel like he can see that my feelings have changed. He also will act different, he smiles sometimes and he is more talkative to me now. I want to know if I should be able to tell if he likes me too more than a friend. Are there signs that will be for sure. Online he is more open and says really really nice things to me. Like I am special adn I shouldnt change and there should be more people in the world like me. He really is special to me and I am wanting to know if he will be able to tell. You see I blush now and if he likes me for a friend I don't want him to run away and feel awkward around me. Please someone help me. this guy is really special to me and I don't want him to think I am obsessed or something and ruin our friendship. Any advice I will appreciate. Thank you so much.
You're old enough to handle this maturely, which is a lot easier than if you were still in high school dealing with a crush. But starting with someone new is always scary and uncertain at the beginning. It's great that he's such a good guy and is worthy of you. It's also wonderful that you're appreciating his friendship and not wanting to lose it. You won't lose it by saying that you like him more... he'll be flattered and will either a) profess his undying love, b) admit he's got feelings too, or c) back off and ask for a little distance for him to figure this all out. None of them are horrible results and you can maintain your friendship no matter what.
I suggest that you bring up the idea in a roundabout way... ask him if he ever sees you and him getting married. And if he flips, then say you were just kidding. If he blushes, then you have something to work on. Or you could just take him out for a special dinner and lay it on the line, and ask for him to be understanding while you handle the feelings that he creates in you. This way, it gets him off the hook of answering right away and lets him know where you stand.
In any case, good luck with it and let us know how it all works out!
-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com