Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have this guy and he he is really nice. He is very shy and I really don't understand the signals at all. Sometimes he is more talkative and sometimes he is very quiet. We play games online (he will instant message me) and we stay online sometimes at night until 3 in the morning. I guess my question is, how do I tell if he wants to be my friend or if he likes me in a different way. When we talk online he will tell me not to change, and there should be more people in the world like me. When we are together he will tease some, but not as bold. Sometimes, online he will play picking on me and things but he always says he was kidding, if that matters. I have feelings for him...but I don't want to get hurt either. Most of all I don't want him to feel unconfortable around me, I am scared he will be able to see that I am starting to care more for him than just friends. Please help me. Thank you so much.
The start of a relationship is always tentative and oh so interesting and frustrating all at the same time. I know what you're going through.
It sounds like you have a good beginning going and you have a good level to start from. Friendship can often lead to more. And even if your feelings are stronger than his, that friendship can be enough for a while. Guys don't tend to spend so much time with someone who isn't important to them, so you can be sure you are an important part of his life. I can see why you like him.
As to talking with him about how he feels about you, that's going to take some gentle prodding. You might start joking about being his girlfriend and see how he takes it, and then if he gets all negative, you can always say you were just kidding. He sounds very shy so you will be the one to make the moves and break the ice first. But even if you do it clumsily and he just wants you as a friend, then it sounds like he's a nice enough guy that he'll be flattered and remain friends with you, which is really what you want.
I hope it all works out and definitely keep in touch!
-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com