Is this Long Distance Relationship Viable?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I met this guy while both travelling 5 months ago, I was only with him for 2 days but we immediately hit it off and got along real well, it wasnt a mushy romantic situation but a really comfortable equal trusting one, it felt perfect, it was real strange. He lives about a 5hours flight away from where I live. I got his email adress and since then we have written very regularly, starting off at once a week and now pretty much emailing, phone texting or calling each other every day. I think Ive fallen for him over the net. This is not me and I didnt think he was the type that could sustain a long distance thing but it really feels like there is something there, at least on my part. Do you think there is something there, or does he maybe see me as a friend?? I really dont know. We are both real hip modern thinking social people who can both get really great partners who live alot 'closer' to ourselves but I cant help but really want to be with him and I really need to know if he feels the same. how can I tell if he has similar feelings about me without having to be so upfront?
I know it feels strange, but this happens ALL the time on the net. When you meet someone for just a few days, it's easy to build a super fast relationship. They even call this "cruise romance" because it happens all the time on cruises. The question of course then is if the relationship can survive in a real life environment. You guys haven't gotten that far yet - you're in the long distance relationship which can also be deceptively wonderful because you share all the good parts of a relationship (the support and caring) but none of the hard parts (doing chores, dealing with bad tempers etc).
The only way either of you will ever know if it will work in real life is to try it in real life. Even if you ask him, how will he know? He only knows you long distance, he can only say that he thinks it's a great thing so far. But he can't project into the future to know how it *might* work in real life. I would suggest going on joint vacations together to at least spend some longer blocks of time together, if you both meet in the middle it shouldn't be that bad. I know people who drove cross country to spend time together. If it really seems worth it, one or both of you might try moving to the other location temporarily, to see how things go, with the knowledge that you can move back if it doesn't work. In the end the only way you can know is to give it a try.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com