I Like Her - She Has a Boyfriend
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I HAVE LIKED THIS GIRL SINCE DEC.I NEVER TOLD HER BECAUSE AT THE IME I HAD BEEN HEART BROKEN BY HER BEST FRIEND.HOWEVER , WE WOULD ALWAYS EAT LUNCH TOGETHER AND WE ALWAYS TALK JUST IN SCHOOL.COUPLE MONTHS LATER I FOUND OUT SHE HAD ATHING FOR ME AND THEN I CONFRONTED HER ABOUT IT BUT SHE WAS WITH SOMEONE,YET SHE TOLD ME "IT NOT MARRIAGE".SHE KNOWS HOW I FEEL AND WHY I NEVER TOLD HER BEFORE.SHE HAD A PROBLEM WITH A FORMER LOVE AND SHE WAS CONFUSED AND I HELPED HER TO GET OVER HIM ,HES NO GOOD , HER AND HER BEST FRIEND ,MY FORMER LOVE ARE NOT TALKING B/C OF OTHER ISSUES, I TRY TO HELP HER NOT B/C I WANT TO IMPRESS HER B/C I REALLY CARE .ITS BEEN A MONTH SINCE I TOLD HER.PEOPLE TELL ME "DONT STRESS IT SHELL EVENTUALLY COME BACK ..." BUT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ,IM SLOWLY GIVEN UP HOPE .HOW COULD I FIND OUT WHETHER OR NOT SHE HAS FEELINGS FOR ME OR NOT ,WITHOUT VIOLATING HER RELATIONSHIP?SHOULD I STILL BE A FRIEND BUT NOT TALK TO HER AS MUCH?WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE,WHATS THE BEST THING TO DO??
This is a classic problem that many, many people get into. You can't force her to give up her boyfriend. That would be a really bad idea. But if she chooses to stay with her boyfriend, you have to accept that. Yes you can be her friend but you have to be open to other romantic relationships. If you spend your entire life waiting around for her to become free - and she never does - that would be a real shame. Because obviously if she WAS just perfect for you, she wouldn't be with this other guy. You need to accept that and find someone who does want you as their first choice.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com