Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
IVE BEEN WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR TWO YEARS. I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH AND CAN'T SEE MYSELF WITH OUT HIM, HOWEVER, THERE ARE A FEW THINGS THAT BOTHER ME IN OUR RELATIONSHIP THAT WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT BUT HE WON'T SEE IT FROM MY PIONT OF VIEW. I BELONG TO A CHURCH AND MY FAITH IS A VERY BIG PART OF MY LIFE BUT HE DOESN'T THINK HE SHOULD BE A PART OF THAT. I HAVEN'T ASKED HIM TO JOIN MY CHURCH BUT JUST TO BE SUPPORTIVE AND MAYBE COME WITH ME ON A SPECIAL SERVICE. HE ALWAYS MAKES UP A REASON NOT TO GO INSTEAD OF JUST TELLING ME THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO GO. I FEEL THAT MOST OF THE TIME I AM GIVING MORE TO THIS RELATIONSHIP THAN HE IS BUT WHEN I BRING THAT UP HE TELLS ME THAT I AM NOT GIVING HIM A CHANCE HOW CAN I HELP HIM TO BE MORE UNDERSTANDING AND SUPPORTIVE? OR IS IT THAT I AM NOT UNDERSTANDING HIS POINT OF VEIW?
There's a reason that many people refuse to marry outside their religion, and this is is. For some people religion is a HUGE part of their life. And if it is, it makes sense to be with someone who shares that belief. He does not feel comfortable with your religion. And for you to try to force him to go along with it would be as bad as him telling you to give it up. You see it as a compromise for him to come sometimes. But really, why should he *have* to go at all if he doesn't want to? This isn't a party you're talking about - it is a religious situation. And that has a lot of meaning to people. Obviously it has meaning to you, that is why you are going. So you should be able to understand he has the same desire NOT to go.
You need to make a decision here. Either you accept him the way he is - quite separate from your religious beliefs - or you find someone who IS accepting of your religious beliefs. You can never force someone to change to suit your needs. That would be quite inappropriate in general, and really inappropriate in a religious case. Some people just aren't meant to be together. As a famous movie says, a fish can love a bird - but where would they build their home together? Some people you have to love from afar, because your personal needs are simply not compatible.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com