She is Less Sexual than I Am

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have been going out with my girlfrind for about 13 months now and we have become very close we tell each other everything,we live 300 km apart and we see each other every weekend,we are both very dedicated people.Anyway for the last 7 months we have not had sex or been intimate in any other way,I told here that she should not do anything she doesnt want to do,and I truly do mean that,here is the problem sometimes I let my urges and feelings get in the way,so I try to get her in the mood,but everytime I do try to start something I get rejected and it ends up hurting the both of us,anyway I have had a new approach over the last month,iam not pursuing here as much or touching her as much,and I have noticed her coming to me more,what do you suggest I do,Is it normal for women not wanting to be intimate. Advice
There is no way you can make judgements about all women based on this one girl. I know a TON of women who are very into sex, and also women who are not. I also know a TON of men who simply aren't into sex very much, and also men who are. The range of desire is all over the map. You may think your sexual drive is normal - but I am positive I can find men who want more sex than you do ... and also men who want less sex than you do. So a lot of any relationship is finding someone you are well matched with.

It could be that she was worried that you only wanted her for sex and therefore felt uncomfortable any time you brought it up. When she is the aggressor, she feels more in control and less worried that you are using her. I would give her time and space, and let her take things at her own pace. Women hit their sexual peak in their 30s-40s, while guys hit their peak at age 18. So it could easily be in a few years that she wants it a lot and you just have no energy.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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