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All love that has not friendship for its base, Is like a mansion built upon the sand. --Ella Wheeler Wilcox

He Wants Emotional Closeness

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
The man I have been dating says that he must have emotional closeness in a relationship. He says after six months he doesn't think I can open up to him. We are not seeing each other right now although there was no definite end to the relationship. He says he needs space. What should I do?

RomanceClass.com Advice
It's very valid to say you want to be emotionally close to your partner, but the question is always what qualifies as that. Some people are very demonstrative and go around saying "I love you!" all the time. Some people don't say it often but SHOW it all the time with those little touches like remembering anniversaries and bringing home your favorite ice cream. So the question is, what is he after? Does he need you to constantly prove your love? If so then that isn't really healthy. But does he just want you to talk to him about how you're doing and to share your life? That would be healthy. Talk to him and ask him what sorts of things he is looking for. It's good that he is expressing his need - but to just run away and break up isn't very a productive way of handling that need. He needs to discuss with you WHAT it is he feels is lacking, so you can actually do something about it if you wish.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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