He Wants a Break - I'm Afraid to Talk
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 and a half months. We've been going through a lot lately and argue about our relationship. He feels that it's not getting better but I believe otherwise. He decided that we should take a break from our relationship because he wants to clear his head and have some time to think whether or not we should continue our relationship. I'm afraid when we finally talk about the status of our relationship, he's going to want to end it. I really love him and want to contiune our relationship. What do I do?
OK, here's the thing. You're afraid to talk about issues because you're afraid that it might lead to trouble and a breakup. But obviously things are NOT great. He's tell you that and you're trying to ignore him and say they are fine. Most women complain that their guys won't talk about issues or tell them when things are wrong. Your guy IS communicating with you and telling you things are wrong - and you're trying to ignore him and tell him that his feelings are invalid. Not only that you're afraid to talk to him about it.
Part of being in a relationship is being mature enough to face issues - to sit down and talk about them even when they hurt and can lead to pain. If you can't face the little issues - how can you possibly deal with the bigger issues that life has in store for you?
A break is rarely a good idea. A couple is meant to deal with issues together. If your solution is to run away, then you are training yourself to run away when things get bad. You face things together. You deal with them together. If you finally decide you can't, then you separate. Again, this is a training for the harder things in your future. You need to learn how to deal with these hard times together. If he feels that you and he can't deal with the issue, then bring in a therapist. But solving a problem by running away isn't a solution.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com