She's Not RespondingVisitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I really like this girl at my school, earlier in the year i worked on a project with her, shortly after I asked her if she would like to hang out at lunch some day, all I got was a maybe, a week or so later I asked again and got a similar response. Feeling a bit down a couple weeks later i realized talk was getting me nowhere, I'm rather shy so I wrote her a note telling her how much I enjoyed working on the project with her and how I liked her as a person(Since love grows out of friendship I just wanted to be her friend first) She still said nothing after i gave her the note. On the last day of school I decided to take a long shot, and tell her how I realy felt so i got her a card and wrote her a poem, in the card i told her that i really liked her and told her i would like to be her friend, I gave her my number and told her(in the card) i'd love to hear from her. Now here comes the real dilemma, school is out, it has been over 3 weeks and she has not called, she is a foreign exchange student from Germany and she goes back in two weeks, I know where she lives but every time I get near her house I become petrified with fear, I cannot work up the courage to knock on her door. I am almost 17 but I dont have any dating experiance because I've never even wanted to ask a girl out before, she is the first girl I've ever liked and I've fallen head over heals for her. I bought her a CD that has a song she really likes on it and a necklace, I want to give them to her but I just can't find the courage, conventional logic seems to falter, though it makes sense to just do it because if I don't I definatly can't be with her, I still feel an immense fear of talking to her, and since she has ignored me also great shame, though I don't think It was her intention she has made me feel inferior, like im not good enough to talk to her, she is a very nice person but I know she doesn't realize how much it hurts to be ignored. So how can I find the courage to give her the gifts and invite her to the movies and hopefully dinner so I can actually talk with her ?
I have to say, that after a while, a no really means no. You've made several deliberate attempts to do things with her, and she's turned you down each time. Girls aren't likely to tell you out and out that they're really not interested, but after several nos, I think she's really not cut out to be with you. It's not that you're inferior or anything. Its just that each type of person likes other people of a certain type, and you're probably not her type. I'm sure there's lot of people out there that ARE your type!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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