Fantasizing about an Ex

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
How do I stop dreaming, thinking of someone that I was with for 8 years of my life ? It's been 7 years later ? Advice
It's really common to miss your ex for a year or two after you break up - especially if you were together for years. But if you're still dreaming about him after 7 years of being apart, it really sounds like you've gone from dreaming about him to fantasizing about what "might have been", i.e. building a fantasy world up in your mind and being addicted to that fantasy. The problem with that is now when you meet "real" men they never compare to that rich fantasy you've built, so you keep staying alone, which makes it worse and worse.

You really need to put this ex behind you. It's one thing to have fond memories of the good times. It's another to obsess about a past relationship to the point that it affects your current life. Get out with your friends, join some clubs, get out meeting new people. If you are really stuck, talk to a minister or therapist or other person in your life. You need to free yourself of this strong tie to the past if you're ever going to move forward and find a happy life.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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User Submitted Response from a 16-20 year old Male

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