I cheated, how do I get him to trust me again?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I love my boyfriend more than anything and want to spend the rest of my life with him, but recently we went through a really rough time and we separated. During that time, I cheated on him 2 times. I want him back, and he wants me, but doesn't want to get hurt again. What can I do to get him back SOON and believe I will never ever cheat again? Help!!! I miss him so much!!
A relationship is solidly built on honesty and trust. If you betray that trust, you damage something really at the core of the relationship. This isn't something that has a "quick fix". And if you really are in this for the long haul, that can easily be 60 years or more. So taking the time to work this through properly now isn't a matter of hours or days.
You need to SHOW him you can be trusted. There's no way to just TELL him it after you've cheated twice. Yes, many people get through a period of infidelity and their relationship survives. But it takes a LOT of work.
I have tips on recovering from cheating here -
So be his friend, talk with him, spend time with him. Be trustworthy. Over time, it can heal, if you both actively work on the relationship. Give it a few months, for him to get through the pain and to accept you as you are. We all make mistakes, but getting past them takes time.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com