Things are Cooling after Nine Months

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Me and my girlfriend are about 15 years old. We have been going out for about nine months now. In the last month i have noticed that her overall atitude towards me has changed. She seems as if she is a different person than who she was at the beginning. She says she is always tired, but never seems to fall asleep at night. She is not as touchy feely as she use to be. She does not show the affection that she gave at the begining.

We have both told each other that we were in love with one another, but it seems as though when she tells me she loves me their is not alot of enthusiasm. During the last week she has gone from "fooling around" alot, now till none at all though she is not on her period. When i ask her about such things she becomes upset about what she hears, and says she doesnt even know she doing it. It seems as though she is hiding what she really feels from me to keep me from geting hurt.

This has only lead to me becoming worried and and stressing out about what is going on. Could you please help me and tell me what you think of this, and what i should do. Advice
It sounds like you need to read about the stages of love -

love can never maintain that high-power passion of the first few months for the rest of its years! You would burn out if you had to keep that up. Love settles down into a more mature love, where you guys are at now. That involves you being comfortable with each other, trusting each other, knowing you're there for each other. You don't have to "prove" it all the time.

If you're interested in more intimacy, then work more romance back into your life. Give her long backrubs and footrubs. Watch romantic movies together. Intimacy doesn't just "happen" except for those high-hormone early days. Intimacy is something you have to work at to maintain.

If she's losing energy, it could be hormonal changes. Teenagers go through a LOT of changes and some of those sap your energy. Make sure you both take vitamins daily and eat at least 3 meals a day. Eat healthy food, not just burgers and pasta and high-sugar foods. If you fill yourself with sugar, then after the sugar rush your body goes into a low-sugar crash. That leaves you with no energy - meaning you don't do things together any more!

Also, instead of just hoping for things to get better, find a hobby you both enjoy. Go for walks together. Go biking together. Go swimming together. You need to build those hobbies into your life, to keep your world interesting.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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