I like a girl, but she has a boyfriend already
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Alright here it goes. This girl and i have been kinda flirting for a couple of years, and just this year things have heated up. I've asked her out a couple of times. We spend almost all day together, she seems like she has feeling for me. She calls and just yesterday asked me to go out with her tomorrow night. But, she has a boyfriend of two years and i don't know what to do about him. Should i try to kiss her tomorrow night and see what happens? Should i keep on playing this little game were playing? I want to tell her how i feel but im afraid that she will get frustrated. I don't know what to do???!! Thanks for listening
If you don't respect the relationship she has, she will have to reason to expect you to respect your relationship with *her* if you two do get together. Trust and honesty are key to any relationship. If you start it out by being dishonest and in essence telling her "even though you're dating someone, that doesn't matter", that can easily come back around to harm you later. Because then when she's dating YOU, and some other guy starts flirting with her, she'll be likely to do the same thing.
Relationships are about best friends, about honesty and trust. She has a boyfriend, she enjoys spending time with you. If you force her to choose to break up with her boyfriend, she'll always remember that if you two fight later on. She'll think of you as the one that broke her other relationship up. I would keep being there for her, being her friend, and being supportive. If she does break up with the other guy, then you're there for you with all that history and things can work out very well. But if you break them up - especially if you actively cause her to cheat, that's tainting your relationship with her with a great deal of lying and dishonesty, which can really harm it.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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