My husband lies constantly

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My husband has a major lying problem. He lies about everything from what he ate to why he didn't go to work. This has been going on since before we were married. After I catch him in many lies he will say he will go to counseling and he doesn't know why he doesn't. Alot of times he will tell me he lies because he doesn't want me ragging on him or he will tell me I am hearing things and that he didn't say that.

This last two weeks it has gotten alot worse. I caught him lying about calling in sick to work. He told me that he didn't have to work that day cause their job got cancelled that day and then 5 minutes later I hear him on the phone to his boss calling in sick. Then he lies to cover up that lie. It is also getting to the point that he lies about money too. For example, I asked him to start using cash instead of writing so many checks and he said he would, and that he didn't even know where his check book was and he hadn't written a check in over two weeks. Then I find his check book and find all these checks he has written but told me he paid cash with for all of these items. This frustrates me because I am the one who has to balance the check book. He lies about everything. I don't know what to do. I don't trust anything he says. I question everything.

This is ruining our marriage. We also have a three year old son and I don't want him growing up, thinking it is okay to lie. Please Help.
Thank You!! Advice
These things grow slowly over time so you never quite know when to draw the line. You are really WELL past that point. He is seriously risking your financial health and the health of your child. What if he goes out to a ball game for the day - your son gets hit by a car - and you can't find your husband? If you don't have trust in a relationship, there honestly is no relationship there at all. For him to keep making excuses for his lying is typical. Of course he's going to!

I would talk to a therapist, and then tell your husband you need to take a break and rely on yourself until he gets this under control. Either he moves out for now or you find a new place to live. It's not only your health here - it is literally the health of your child. It's not just what your child learns - it's the real health, money to feed and ability to parent.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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