I Want to Date a Jerk
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Okay.. I'm having some major issues here. You see, there's this guy and I really, really like him. He's gone out with one of my best friends(1), and at a dance that me & her(1), & my bestest friend(2) of all time, was at together.. she(1) was grinding and dancing with him. I've liked him since a little before then. And last Friday he wrote a note to the same best friend(1), they've broken up now and gone back out a couple of times but more or less they're just friends, and the note said that he liked me & some other girl, plus my best friend(1) who has a boyfriend again now.
My bestest friend(2) told me at lunch that day that he liked me & then my other friend(3) gave me the note that he wrote. Then during 5th period.. I broke down and told my best friend(1) that I liked him & that I've like him since she had been with him at the dance. So after that class.. we walked around by his class room & he waved to me. Then I, my best friend(1), my other best friend(2), this guy(??), and him(the one I like) were walking down the hall. Then my best friend(1) says "Hey. I need to talk to you", to the guy I like. So I took off quickly down the hall with my friend(2). Then after 6th period, which I almost died trying to get through, I rushed to my 7th period room & waited outside the door to talk to my best friend(1) about what he said. And to my excitement.. he said YES(!!).
Well I rode my friend's(1) bus to the high school after school so I could get off and see him. We were there and hugging.. but he's known for kissing and making out with girls. But I'm not really like that, but I wanted to so bad.. so I tried.. but it didn't work. Then I was supposed to go away to a camp for the weekend but I turned it down so I could go to the dance with him. Then like five minutes after I got there.. he broke up with me & was dancing with this other girl, she's my best friend's(1) friend, and I wanted to cry.
But I got up the guts to call him Sunday & I talked to him but he doesn't want to go out with me. He wants to go out with a girl in my homeroom & my best friend(3) that has the locker beside him & has homeroom with him. But I've talked to him every night since then & he's nice to me on the phone.. but at school he doesn't really talk to me at all. And it hurts so much. So now that you know my whole story.. will you please give me advice on what to do?? Because I want to be with him SO bad that it hurts to be around him.. so please help me.
*I numbered who my 'friends' were that I was talking about.. so when it says 'friend', there should be a "(1)", "(2)", or "(3)" beside it. Thanks so much!
One of the most important things you can learn in life is when to break an obsession with a real jerk. I know you are drawn to this guy for whatever reason - but he is acting like a JERK to you and treating you like a doormat. If you go and read history, women have been treated like doormats for most of history. They get used and abused by guys. And us girls take it because like you we think "OH he'll be better with me" or "But he's so CUTE!" And you know what? It ends up with the guy treating us badly, with us crying and sobbing and wishing he'd change. And he doesn't.
Life is about growing up and learning. You really need to learn here that this guy is NOT worth it even if he has dreamy eyes or cool hair or whatever. He droped you at a public dance! He is spoiled and used to getting his way. Even if you get him back, he will only stay with you long enough to hurt you again. He is a serial heart breaker. You aren't going to change him. Take a deep breath and focus your attention on a guy who deserves your affection. There are many out there. And many of them wonder why the girls they like always fall for the jerks. It's because the girls haven't yet figured out just how bad jerks are. They are bad.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com