He Danced - I Broke Up
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My question is regarding cheating, and what is in fact considered cheating. My now ex-boyfriend, went on a weekend trip to las vegas with a bunch of his friends. When he returned from the trip, i spoke to him and felt that he wasn't telling me everything that had happened and began to ask him questions. he started off with saying, "i'm not going to be like all those other guys who lie to their girlfriends, so i'll tell you what happened, but nothing really happened. But i know you still won't like it." Apparently, what he did was meet a girl at a club, and began talking to her. They danced together for a while, about 2 hours, and then she gave him her phone number which he saved in his phone. The second i heard this, i decided that our relationship was over and told him that right away. He said i was over reacting and being a drama queen, that dancing is not considered cheating and that at least he didn't do anything more then that with her although she wanted to. That alone says that they were also very close, whispering in eachothers ears the entire time. But, lets just assume dancing provactively with a girl is not cheating, wouldn't he have stepped over the line when he took down her phone number or just the fact that he was with this one girl for over 2 hours. Please let me know if you think i over reacted to breaking up with him.
I'm sorry to tell you that lots of people dance with each other. Even at weddings, it's common for people to dance with whoever is there. There is nothing, anywhere, that say a man can only dance with his girlfriend or wife. Lots of girls go out and dance with the guys there.
Vegas is a town known for its sin - you know, I imagine, that prostitution is legal there. So if your boyfriend was going to get into trouble, there are TRILLIONS of things he could have done quite easily without any problem at all. However, he chose to dance. I thought we'd come a long day since the days of churches banning all form of dancing, but I see we aren't far from that :)
On the taking of the phone number, that does at least start to get SOMEWHAT suspect. If he'd actually started calling it, I would have worried. But if she was pushing it on him, it's often easier just to take it vs fighting or lying up reasons not to take it. If you had been seeing 10 calls a day to it on his phone bill, you would be rightfully outraged. But just for one dance? That hardly seems like a stoning offense to me.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com