I Want Her Back - I Never Dated Her
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
ok i was dating this girl and this was back around christmas time and it was only for about a month, but lately we have been seeing eachother alot and calling and hanging out alot, and going to eachothers houses and snuggling on my couch, and we were pretty much a well known "couple". and then suddenly one day she has a boyfriend! (which is not me). well she has only known this guy for about a month, or not even that long.
the thing is, we still hang out and i feel like there is still something strong between us. we still flirt and laugh and joke and she likes to sit on my lap and snuggle and take my hat away and it just seems like she still wants to be with me. except she technically has "a boyfriend". i think i am in love with her though i think about her all day long and cannot like anyone else i have tried. she is my first love and she is the one for me. i think she is confused about this other guy.
i need to know what to do because i am lost and i have no idea what to do. and i don't want to hear that i need to move on because i am not going to move on. i want hear she is the one i love with all my heart. Please help me what do i do to get her back??
You say you want her back - but you need to be brutally honest if you're ever going to have a relationship that works. You never had her. She thought of you as a fun male friend for cuddling. Many girls have many of those. Remember, it's not like she "stopped" seeing you and "started" seeing someone else. She has you as a friend. She dates this other guy. You say she's confused about him - but she is in fact dating him. It's not like she said no when he asked her out. And it's not like she stopped dating him. She wants to be his girlfriend.
Lots of guys fall in love with their female friends. And they then have to watch their female friends date other guys. Well, she has already dated someone else. If she chooses to break up with him, she can easily then move along to another guy. Remember, she did NOT choose to date you. Again, life is about hard facts. You need to face them.
You are welcome to hang around and be her 'safety blanket', and cuddle with her while she dates other guys. You're welcome to keep hoping that eventually she will decide to date you. But you need to realize that if she WAS the perfect girl for you - she would have chosen to date you. She's chosen to date other people. So maybe she is the perfect FRIEND for you - and the perfect GIRLfriend is still out there. Keep that in mind.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com