She's Using Me - She Has a Boyfriend
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I FEEL VERY CONFUSED BECAUSE, LIKE ABOUT 8 MONTHS AGO I MET THIS GIRL, THAT SINCE I SAW, POPPED MY HEART OUT, BUT I BEGAN TO TALK TO HER, I AND I DID THE BIGGEST MISTAKE, OF TELLING HER THAT I LIKED HER, OUT OF TIME, AND OUT OF PLACE, THE THING IS SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE WASNT INTO ME, AND THAT SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND,
THE THING IS, I LEFT HER ALONE, AND THEN SHE STARTED AGAIN TO CALL ME, INSISTELY, I TOLD HER THAT I DIDNT TO TALK TO HER SHE TOLD THAT SHE HAD TO, THAT SHE NEEDS ME, WELL THE THING IS THAT AT TIME I CHANGED MY GAME PLAN, I STARTED TO HEAR HER AND JUST BEING THERE FOR HER, AND AFTER THAT HAPPENED SHE HAS OPPENED HERSELF TO ME, TO THE POINT THAT SHE KEEPS UP MAKING COMPARISONS WITH HER BOYFRIEND AND ME, SAYING THAT IM THE ONLY MAN THAT KNOWS HER, AND THAT ONLY WITH ME SHE HAVES A GREAT TIME, AND MORE THINGS
MY PROBLEM IS THAT I CAN FEEL THAT SHE LIKES BECAUSE SHE IS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR ME AND, TRYING TO MAKE COMPARISONS AND WHEN WE GO OUT WHEN PEOPLE SAY IF WE ARE A COUPLE SHE ALWAYS ACTS AS IF WE WERE ONE, AND THINGS HAS GONE SO FAR, TO THE POINT THAT SHE WANTS TO GO ON A WEEKEND WITH ME, SHE TOLD ME, WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS YOUR PROFESIONAL VIEW OF THIS CASE, IS SHE PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS OR IS MY GUT FEELING RIGHT THAT SHE REALLY LIKES ME, BUT SHE HAS HER BOYFRIEND, THE THING IS THAT I REALLY WANNA NOW.
Unfortunately the answer is pretty clear. She HAS a boyfriend. She has chosen to stay with him. She is using you as a safety blanket. She wants to have you around in case she decides to break up with her boyfriend. Think of it in this way - if YOU were the boyfriend, would you be happy to know your girlfriend was off running around with another guy, talking to him all the time, and planning weekend adventures?
Let's say she decides to break up with him and date you. I bet you anything she'll keep the other guy around on the side, to have as a safety blanket in case anything goes wrong with her relationship with you. This just isn't someone you can trust. I'd go have a talk with her boyfriend, tell him what is going on, and make her choose. He deserves to know.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com