He Only Wants to be Friends
Visitor's Question from a 51-60 year old Female
My boyfriend and I had been dating five years. Lately we have been having our ups and downs. But we were working it out and things were looking good. Well one night he pissed me off, but nothing major, nothing he couldn't apologize for and us make up. Instead, he tells me that he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now but he loves me and only me, it isn't someone else,that this isn't the end of us, and lets just be friends.
I have no idea how to just be his friend. We are each other's first and only and up until recently, knew that we will be married. How do I deal with this? I am devastated. It's not like we are working to make our relationship better, and he knows that I still want to be in one with him. How do I just be his friend?
Something obviously was pretty seriously wrong if he turned off a relationship that lasted that long. You thought things were looking good - but he thought things were very bad. That means that communication was pretty poor if that major disconnect happened between you two.
You deserve more than a vague "goodbye" for a dismissal of 5 years of togetherness. I would ask him to go to a therapist or minister with you, if only to help you cope with the loss of the relationship. You could then learn what was actually wrong, and have a chance of fixing it.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com