I Don't Want My Boyfriend Talking To Certain WomenVisitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
For awhile, I was living out of state and my current boyfriend and i kept our relationship open for awhile. When I came back, we had planned on being together exclusively. While I was away, he was dating a girl and thought that when I came back, him and her can "just be friends". Being the jealous type, I told him I wasn't alright with it. After much discussion, he felt that it was best to tell her to break off ties with him and not call him anymore. 2 months later, she's calling him back, saying she wants to see him one last time before she moves. I, of course, thought all of this was over 2 months ago and got quite upset and told my boyfriend I don't want him to call her back and talk to her. I don't mean to tell him who he can and cannot stay in contact with but it just upset me so much, even though he assured me they were just friends. He went as far as to say that he wouldn't hang out with her unless I came along, thinking it would make me feel better. For me, it would feel much better not going to meet her.
My question is whether or not my actions and expectations for my boyfriend to cut ties with her inappropriate or are they justified? Also, what can I do to decrease my level of jealousy? I got so jealous over this situation that I physically felt sick and couldn't sleep until he agreed that he wouldn't call her. I don't want to be a controlling girlfriend.
You definitely should never make rules about your boyfriend's friends, including female friends. I think it was a quite reasonable compromise for him to offer to bring you along. I have a TON of tips on handling jealousy here - read them all!
How to Handle Jealousy
It's not like this girl is trying to date him. She just wants to see him to say goodbye. That's a quite reasonable request ...
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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