Taking Steps towards Commitment
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have had an on-again off-again boyfriend for about 2 years. Each time we will get together, everything will be nearly perfect and a couple months later, he freaks out because he says he is scared of commitment. We will get back together a month or two later and this pattern continues.
He has never said he loves me until last night. We are currently broken up and he told me that he is ready to take the plunge. He said he doesn't want to lose me and he will do what it takes to show me that he loves me and wants to be with me.
He has never said anything like this before AT ALL and it scared me a lot. I don't know if I should give it another chance. I really love him. Help!
It can definitely be a very scary idea to commit to one person for the rest of your life. Heck, we only buy cars for 5-7 years at a time, and we can always move out of houses. It's hard to imagine that any one person can make us really happy for years and years and years. So don't blame him too harshly for being nervous about the idea in the past.
If he really is settling down to the idea of commitment, don't push him too hard. Be happy with this, and take slow but steady steps towards it. That way he'll see it's not a scary new world - but simply the happiness you two have now, that will keep going and going.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com