His Female Friend Causes Trouble for Me
Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I have been involved with an older man now for nearly one year.Despite the age difference,we get along pretty well,although we have had problems.He has two drinking buddies who are driving me nuts.They are a man and woman who live across the street from him.They are very jealous of my relationship with this man.When I talk to him outside,they sit on their front porch and stare at us the whole time.This man friend is a widower who lost his wife a year and a half ago.I was very good friends with her and before she died,she asked me to be a friend to him because she was afraid that he would end up lonely.I think that this couple is using him and are controlling him.He is the one earlier that I said that is sweet to me alone,but,ignores me,when he's around his buddies.It seems that our relationship is hot and cold.For awhile,he talks to me and invites me over his house,then,suddenly,he becomes very distant.I know that he has a lot of problems with his health(he has diabetes),financial worries and such,but,who doesn't? Last fall,he and I had a terrible fight.His female drinking buddy got in my face and said some cruel things to me.We didn't see each other for three months,then,after the holidays,he started coming around.He told me that he was sorry and that he still cared for me and thought of me.I've tried talking to him about this couple,but,he gets very defensive.I know that he is very lonely since his wife died.I miss her too.His family doesn't visit him much and I know that it upsets him also.I do love him very much,but,I just can't go on like this.I have tried to be friends with his couple,but,the woman just doesn't like me and has made some snide remarks to me in the past.Her husband,on the other hand,is very nice to me and waves at me when he sees me.I don't mind my man having friends,but,it seems like these are the only people that he wants to be with.Please answer quickly because I'm hurting and don't know what to do. Thanks!
Every relationship involves people who don't get along well. That's a normal part of life. Undoubtedly this wife is jealous of you and likes having the full affection of two men in her life. It's her own little harem.
Don't obsess about it too much. She is the way she is, you can't change her. Just agree to see him when she's not around and visa versa. Not everybody was meant to be best buddies.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com