Friends to Lovers to Friends

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Hello...I have a very close friend whois a and her have gotten really close...we have come to love each other as good and close friends...i recently told her that i loved a more than friends type of first things seemed akward but then evrything was back to normal...nothing happened between us because she is in love with some other guy but she never told me that i know my love for her is quickly fading away..but a part of me still wants her...but her relationship with the other guy is kind of skaky....Should i still show her that i love her in every possible way or just give up and move on? I really really love this girl...and should age matter she's 2 years older than i am..but that never gets in the way...(i hope) Advice
First, two years is hardly anything in the grand scheme of things. So don't let that bother you at all.

Next, good friends *should* love each other fully and completely. Sometimes you don't call it love because the word seems scary, but the way good friends should act - caring for each other's happiness, being there when needed, being trustworthy, wanting to spend time together - are all signs of love.

So you can love her whether or not she's involved with someone else. And you can be there for her. If she's having a shaky time with another guy I would definitely be there for her. But don't try to *interfere*. Let her make her own decisions about whether this other guy is good or bad for her. Hopefully she will realize that he isn't good for her, and that you've always been there for you.

I would keep up your own interests in the meantime, and if you happen to come across someone that's great for you, then you can decide to start seeing this other girl. But for now, be a good friend to this girl you know, and keep your own life active. Being a friend to someone who needs a shoulder is perhaps one of the most important things you can do in life.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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