He Has Lust - I Want Love
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
how will i deal with my lustful boyfriend? when we kiss, i want to feel his love and not the lust in his mind.. we're getting intimate but have not done it yet..well, we're close to it already. but we compromised no to do it, coz we want to reserve it. but each time we're together, he can't control it. i regret it because all i want is for him to be happy, but it hurts me to feed his lustful desires. but he does love me so much. i have no doubt about it. it just pains me a lot when he drools with beautiful and sexy women and then his lustful thoughts go mad again. i hate it. and when we're alone together, i'm so afraid coz we might end up doing it.
i just want to feel is his love and not the lust. i don't want him experimenting it or any. by the way, we're both turning 20. we're deeply in love with each other and we're sure we are meant for each other. please help. i don't wanna lose thie relationship. how can i deal with it and go on with our relationship and be happy even without doing it yet and move on with his lustfulness. i will appreciate any help i can get. thank you...
It seems like somehow you think sex and love are completely different. Nothing could be further from the truth. For many people, the act of giving your body fully to another is the truest form of trust and love you can commit. That's why so many people treasure their virginity to only experience that most special sensation with the person they will be with for the rest of their life.
Kissing with love and kissing with lust are strange distinctions. Are you saying that if he kisses you with longing, that's not love? I don't know that any romantic movie watcher would necessarily agree with you :) A nice friendly kiss is lovely - but a passionate kiss is ALSO about love.
It sounds like you have a lot of jealousy in you. You don't want him lusting after others - but you don't want him lusting after YOU either. You just don't want any passion at all. What are you afraid of here? If you in essence don't want to have sex until you marry, then that is fine. MANY women feel that way. But to try to get him to turn off his lust is quite unfair. If you can't trust him until you marry, then make plans to marry him - and then ENJOY that most natural of passions.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com