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Her parents disowned her



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 7 months now. She is practically moved in (offical next month.) Her parents disowned her, she has a part-time job (about 10 hours a week if that), no car, and just recently withdrew from college. We haven't had a good day, with a hand-full of exceptions, since Febuary. Two weeks ago she told me that she was unhappy. Of course things turned around right after that, but two days later I received a call from one of my online journal buddies. Female. Of course I lied about it to her because she would go phsycotic on me. Now she doesn't trust me, even though she says she tries. I'm not allowed to drink, talk to females (unless work related), and other controling issues she is impposing on me.

We just spent a weekend in Tennesse for Easter and it was a living nightmare. Everytime we weren't in front of my family we were constantly bickering. She accused me of "checking out" the tour guide at a sight seeing trip, when I was just paying attention to what she was saying.

Normally at lunch I come home and take a nap with her... well she is still sleeping but you get the point. Today I decided to go to lunch with a co-worker that offered to pay for lunch. First I stop by the house to tell her and she gets all offended and tells me she don't want me to be near her and I should just go to lunch.

She makes me feel guilty about anything I do that isn't what she "expects" me to do, and when I ask what should I do the only answers I get are, "You know what you should do," or, "Do what you want." Either way it never is right. I tell her if I'm asking I don't know the answer but that doesn't help either.

I'm sick of always appologizing for everything whenever she is unhappy or moody. I tried to talk to her about sometimes she is responsible to make herself happy and you couldn't imagine what that caused.

What my question is, I'm not even sure that I still love her, and I am 95% sure that I don't want to be in a relationship with her, yet I still want to be friends.

I want to break up with her, but I don't want to leave her without a leg to stand on. If you couldn't tell by my earlier remarks she is extremely stubborn and would never go back to her parents. I feel that the only reason to try now is to help her become self-suffecient so I can drop her. But I'm not helping by having her move in.

What should I do?




RomanceClass.com Advice
Be straight with her. Tell her she can stay with you until she can support herself or until she decides to move back in with her folks.

The longer you drag it out, the worse it will get.

In the end, you may just have to find a new place, but either way, you need to resolve this as soon as possible so that you two can move on with your lives.

Best wishes,
Marc

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com




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