this is my second real relationship
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
i've been with this girl for six months now and it feels perfect. this is my second real relationship and i am so in love with her. she feels the same way for me, i was her first "time". we believe we were made for each other. but i think my beliefs make me jealous. i believe when you brake up with someone you break up with them because i know it can cause complications in further relationships. but she still hugs her ex's in front of me which i feel very uncomfortable with as i would never do that to her. i get jealous by the fact that she has a lot of male friends and she hold arms with some of these guys whilst she is holding my hand, and that makes me feel less significant. and because of this i get scared of losing her for when we go to university because she will be making more male friends and leave me for another guy. i'm 19 and i know that most guys are only friends with girls for one thing only. it doesn't bother me that she has male friends it just bothers me the way she acts with them in front of me like hugging and holding arms with them. is it best for me to accept this? or do is it best for me to set boundaries for my own comfort, eg ask her not to do that when i'm there?
First off, it does sound like you do have some issues with Jealousy, so I would recommend checkingout http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/23682. With that said, howeve, I must commend you on your honesty and introspection.
It is fair for you to ask her not to do things that make you uncomfortable and if they are reasonable, I'm sure she will be happy to accomodate you. So, let her know how you feel.
In the end, if she's being faithful to you, it's a no harm/no foul situation. Fidelity is what matters here and that is linked into trust.
-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com