Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
OK... i have i friend, J that i want to turn into a GIRLfriend, but the situation is weird (well kinda) i read the section you have about going from friend to girl friend, but out relationship is at a HAUL! we are BEST friends (we even labled each other at that) and we are REALLY REALLY close. we come to each other with our promblems, our our families LOVE each other, we go out ALL the time to all diffrent things (movies, {scary b/c thats the kind we both like}, dinner, lunch, just spending time at each others house with each others families, museums, clubs, vacation, hours on the phone each day ect...) we have known each other for about 3 years! she was been single for about 2 1/2 and i dated 1 girl since her (durning the time i was dating this girl, J, J thought that K was jealous, but i didnt know) we do kiss each other on the cheek, borrow clothen, ect... EVERYONE thinks we would be GREAT for each other (including her best female friend) the implications i get is that she is NOT intrested in me "THAT" way, like she sees me more as a part of her family. But i think that there can be MORE to what we have!! Shes PREFECT for me and i feel id be PERFECT for her! we like all the same things and never get bored when we are together. i dont know what else to do? and like your section said, i dont want risk our friendship! ive kinda, kinda opened up to her with how i feel (1 time when i was intoxicated kinda latley, but we were interputed before she could say anything). I DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO FROM HERE!!!!! now she has started talking back to her X and im scared that they might get back together! (her X use to cheat on her and NEVER make time for her, in fact while they were together I spent more time with her then him!!!) I dont understand why she would want him back (she broke up with him). plezzzz i need some advice! Advice
The only advice I can give is to remain friends. You can't make someone love you and it does sound like she knows how you feel.

The other alternative is to not have anything to do with her anymore because it is more painful for you to see her than not. In terms of her getting back with her ex, that is her issue. Maybe she is doing it to keep a distance from you. If you stop seeing her, she may realize how important you are to her, but then again, she may not.

All in all, you have 2 decisions to make. The first is just to be friends and deal. The other is to cut her out of your life and deal. Neither is a great one, but you should go with the one that causes you the least pain.

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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