logo


Romantic Forums! Get the answers you seek quickly and easily! If you can't find what you need
here amongst our tens of thousands of tips and questions, be sure to Post in our Romantic Forum!
We've got over 9,800 members ready to give you a hand!
A Love Quote
Love does not consist in gazing at each other - but in looking together in the same direction. - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry



Boyfriend is Angry if he doesn't get Sex



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend gets mad or disappointed if I don't give him sex. Am I being used?




RomanceClass.com Advice
There's no easy answer to that. Let's say you were both 30 and living together for 3 years. And let's say that you started out having sex once a day and now he still wanted it a few times a week but you only wanted it once a year. He'd be disappointed with that. And that would be a normal thing to work out.

But let's say you're both 15 and he wants it every day and you just don't. And he gets upset each time you deny him. That's not good. Sex is all about two people voluntarily sharing their most intimiate parts with each other. It's not something you turn on and off like a spigot. And there are all sorts of feelings and emotions and mental connections going on. If you're tired or upset, you're just not in the mood for sex. And forcing sex at that point is causing harm to the relationship, not good, because you're going into sex (which SHOULD be the ultimate tie between you two) thinking that you're doing it because you have to. Sex should NEVER be about "have to". It should ALWAYS be about "want to".

If he's a teenager, then yes, his hormones are going full blast. And if he's really in the mood and you say no, he's going to be disappointed, just as if he saw a chocolate cake in a store window and really wanted it but didn't have the money to buy it. But part of being mature enough to date is being mature enough to treat your partner as a human being you care for and respect, and NOT treating them like a piece of property or meat.

Yes, he's disappointed. Yes, he'd like sex. But you know, sex is about TWO people wanting something, and he has to learn to want your happiness more than his sexual desire. If his response to you saying "I don't feel like it" is to get ANGRY with you that is just wrong. It means he doesn't respect you and your feelings. And that is one of THE most important parts of being with someone. If he's disappointed, he has to learn to take it, without moping around the house or whatever. Yes, he's disappointed, he accepts it and then goes on with his life.

So I don't know that I'd say he's using you, but I would say he's not handling the situation well at all. He needs to start treating you differently and handling this differently if he's going to maintain a relationship. If he's disappointed and is showing it badly, I'd talk to him about that. If he's actually being ANGRY and in any way being loud to you, I would put an immediate stop to that. You do NOT deserve that at all.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit
 


Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Kissing / Intimacy

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response



Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.
Advertisement


Sparkly Irridescent Glitz Gel

Going to a party or special event? What to feel special no matter what you're doing? Roll on some glitz! Perfect for adding a special bit of sparkle to your day or evening.

Buy Glitz Gel at EclecticLady.com




Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!

Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Twitter Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Facebook Add Romance+Class+Website+ to MySpace Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Del.icio.us Digg Romance+Class+Website+ Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Yahoo My Web Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Google Bookmarks Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Stumbleupon Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Reddit


 

Follow Me on Pinterest


Romantic Tshirts, Bags, Mugs and More!

Love is Patient
Love is Patient ...
Deeply Loved
Deeply Loved ...
Random Kindness
Random Kindness ...

These are just a small selection - Visit the RomanceClass Shop!

Join This Newsletter!


 
RomanceClass on Facebook




Join This Newsletter!

Past Issues





| About RomanceClass | Advertising | Privacy Policy | Submit a Suggestion |
All content copyright © 2013 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

this site is for amusement only - professional advice is not being rendered

Exploring Believability