I Drove Him Crazy - He Left - I Want Him Back
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
About a year ago i meant this guy. He was a year younger than me (he was in 8th grade and i was a freshman at the time) and he thought i was hot. so we started talking on the internet and he ends up liking me and i end up liking him...i went to his b-ball game one night and later on that night he told like how beauiful i was and how he has never felt this way about anyone.
well since i was in high school we didnt talk or see each other...so we just kinda stopped talking for about a month.(we were still had feelings) then on new years eve we stayed up until like 2 and talked to each other on the internet and he had a microphone and so did i so it was like we were talking on the phone. and he was saying how hot he was and stuff...so then we started liking each other alot and on v-day he sent me flowers and chocolate...then we stopped talking for along time..but i think he said had feelings for me and so did i.
well at the end of the school year he started to call me and he came over a couple times at my house and we started liking each other again...well then he had to go to his dads house on vacation for like 3 weeks so we just kinda drifted apart...well then we became friends later on but still had feelings for each other...then when he came to high school we started talking again...and in oct. he started liking me alot alot more than ever and so did i...we would talk on the phone every single night,for about 2 mons..
then in dec. we started going out and it was the best thing that ever happened to me and he liked me and i liked him so much...then he started telling me he loved me and that we would never brake up...then in jan. we started getting really "serious"...like u know...and we got closer...he would always come to my house and always call me...like if he didnt call me or i didnt call him i would get worried cause i liked him so much..i thought i was in love and i thought he loved me..we never had a fight...but i did get mad at him a couple times..but thats normal..
well in feb. he started going to his dads everyother weekend like two hours away and he had b-ball practice and so he didnt come over very often anymore...and it got weird...like if we didnt call one another we would be like ok...yeah...and in march he stopped calling me (but we wouldnt call my dads anyways cause my dad doesnt like him and hes scared of him lol) and it got really bad all though out march then,
i got tired of if one day cause we didnt even hardly talk when he came to my locker that day. and i got mad so me and my friends kept driving by his house and blowing a fog horn..and my friends called him and started yelling at him..there like "why do u have to treat her like that and stuff" and he got really mad...and he wanted to talk to me on the phone..and hes like whats ur problem and stuff like that and i was like whats urs...and then hes like are u going to break up with me or what and im like no and hes like well if ur not then i am..and i kept telling him that i didnt want to..and hes like well i dont like u anymore...like what? and hes like things have been weird lately...and so yeah then we broke up..and he said we could still be friends and i can call him anytime i want...
i cried for like 3 days...well this was on a friday. then on sat. my sister was talking to him on the internet and started yelling at him and she was asking him questions that i told her to ask like if he even cared if we broke up and hes like yeah and he even asked how i was and what i was doing and what i got shopping and then she said she had to go and hes like wait whats ur sister doing? and so i got on and we were like hey whats up..really weird..and then hes like well i geuss im going...and im like ok...bye...hes like bye i guess and hes like do u have anything to say and im like do you and hes like do u and im like yeah...and he was typing something but then stopped and im liek what were u going to put and hes like nevermind, im like no u want to say something and hes like nevermind, and then i asked him how he feels? like sad, happy, dont care..and hes like well i gtg..i will talk to u later and then he got off...
and then on sun. i got on and he was on and we didnt say anything cause we were scared...then she got on and hes like dangit i was about to talk to ur sister and then on monday we had school and we didnt look at each other or anything and it was weird.and then on mon. night we talked again on the internet mostly about how my mom and dad found out about "it" and we were mainly talking about that and not to let my mom call is and then hes like are u still mad at me? and im like no and hes like ok good and hes like well u never looked at me and im like u never looked at me and hes like ya i did and im like i did to..and hes like do u still have my pictures on the wall and im like why do u want them back and hes like no lol, do u have them up and im like yeah..and hes like do u still have my name on ur door and im like yeah.. and then we started talking on about it again...
and then on tuesday we talked again about it...and on wednesday i could kinda tell he wanted to talk to me at school...and nows its sat. and a week ago and a day...and havent talked to him since tuesday...and i still like him alot and i am depressed i think i still want to be with him...i think about him all the time.and i know it cant be over just like that...i thought he really loved me and we were close...i mean i know he is only a freshman and im a sopomore but i thought we would stay together for a long time and i would just like to know if he would still have feelings about me know? and if he was just mad cause me and my friends did that(which was a big mistake) and why did he say he loved me then and how we were so close..and then all a sudden he stops likng me? and if we would ever have a chance to get back together. sorry this is long.
All relationships go through highs and lows. What defines the relationship is how you handle them. It sounds like you didn't handle them very well! Things started getting distant between you two and your solution was to harass him and drive him away. Then when it came time for you guys to talk about the situation you wouldn't tell him how you felt, you played this "no YOU tell me first" game.
If you want things to work, you have to put in effort. That means telling him when you're bothered, not throwing tantrums. It means telling your friends to mind their own business and not screw up your relationships. And it means TALKING to your guy when there is an issue without demanding on him going first.
If you can show him you can be a great friend and are going to try to communicate better, it could work. But you have to SHOW him that before he'll be willing to really commit again.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com